gonna try to sleep, now that my max pain meds are kicking in again.

my knees aren’t throbbing anymore at least as they had been for hours, and my right ankle is still pretty sore, but better than it was. my neck and shoulders are still killing me however, and I’ve got a massive tension headache going on from clenching my jaw too much, ugh.

some messages/love letters to wake up to would be much appreciated ;-;

Turn me into Adam Jensen.

Cut off my arms, cut off my legs, give me those sweet, sweeeeet augments.

I am absolutely asking for this.

(Source: makemestfu)

Hi legs, it’s me again. Just popping in to say CAN YOU FUCKING NOT?

I am going on an hour long trip to Victoria in a couple of hours, where I will be doing some shopping, eating breakfast for dinner at Denny’s, and seeing Star Trek. So, as you can see I have an awesome day planned, SO CAN YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN SO I CAN GO HAVE FUN? Jfc, just stop hurting for a few hours. Then hurt all you want because I get lidocaine tomorrow and hopefully that’ll fucking shut you up. I took my first dose of pain meds, and I am lying down with the heating shawl wrapped around you shitheads, so do me a fucking solid, and just chill out.

Ugh. Just stop. Stoooooop.

Sincerely, Mk.

Walmart had a commercial on tv about nominating a mother you know for “Mom of the Year”. I just finished the application process, and this was what I said about my mom:

She’s a (dedicated) + (mom extraordinaire) -the two in brakets were choices from a drop down menu, that you got to choose from, and I put the charity of her choice as RSD Canada-

My mom has done her best to take care of me my whole life, but one night, a simple sprain took over my life and turned it into a nightmare of pain. On April 27, 2007 I sprained my left wrist and hand. The doctor splinted it, and told me I would be better in 2-3 days, except I never got better, only worse. I developed a rare, severe, progressive neuropathic pain condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Over the past six years it has spread to both my arms and legs. My mom now has a full-time job of helping take care of me. She drives me to my pain clinic which is two hours away, take me to physiotherapy 2x a week, helps pay for my prescriptions. She cooks for me if I am in too much pain and gives me a massage if the muscle spasms are intense. She’ll bring me pillows to support my limbs, blankets, heating pads, whatever I need whenever I need it (be it day or night), and always without complaint. She’s my main support system, and honestly I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Here’s the link to her “page”: http://www.momoftheyear.ca/mom/?mom_id=26790&nauth=5noX5XpCBwxuwlgl0GXrOGzZ6FuOQHb9jChgBfWcRQ0%3D

The prize is 10K cash, and 100K to the charity of your choice. And seven runners up will get 10K cash, and 10K for their charity.

If you guys could go like the page, or give my mom a vote when the voting starts, I would really appreciate it. Even though we fight and don’t get along sometimes, I really love her and I just wanted to hopefully do something nice for her. 

fuck, someone please come massage my legs. I’m in the bath with maxed meds again, and it still fucking hurts a lot. I can barely straighten my left leg because the muscles are so tight and sore.

I’ve been debating the idea of maybe seeing what the application process for a disability parking pass is? Because lately the more I walk, the worse off I am. I’m limping almost all of the time whenever I am up and moving around, and to be honest, that isn’t much lately. I spent most of my weekend in my recliner, maxed out on meds, with five pillows to keep my feet elevated. But at the same time, I don’t want to take up a place that someone with a wheelchair would need, you know? I can still walk - it just kind of really fucking sucks to do so currently. 

I don’t know. I’m just angry with myself, and I’m stubborn as hell, so I want to not need the parking pass and I want to be able to walk as much as I want, I just don’t know how realistic that is anymore. And I fucking hate that I even have to start considering all this. And at the same time I want to take care of myself and do everything I can to keep it from getting worse because I’m fucking terrified of how much more of my body I could lose to this fucking bullshit. Someone needs to find a cure for this, pronto.

(Source: danathepaina)

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(Source: fibrofightersunite)